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Me & SL

This are old thoughts. I thought I’d put it up here as a memorial.
Almost ending.

I and SL are unhappy with each other again. It’s always the same problem; our different styles of living. She wants to be with me and thought of constantly. I want to be constantly alone to do things. We’re at opposite poles. It’s goddamn impossible to find middle ground anymore.
She hates it when I shut her out of my world. Unfortunately, I’m a single-tasker – I need to concentrate fully on my subject. The rest of the world can go to Hell. She’s always saying that I don’t consider enough of her, i.e. whether my actions are fair to her. She’s right. I do what I need to do without considering her. I keep getting the niggling feeling that she wants me to accompany her all the time. It’s unfair that I feel and treat her this way.

I want the freedom to do what I want and need to do. I don’t need her to mother me. I know she’s worried about us and wants to be in constant touch with each other. So much contact is hard for me to accept. It’s hard for her to accept a life with so little contact. It is ridiculous that she can’t understand me. It is ridiculous I can’t understand her. I want to make it work.

We’ll split up soon and it’s due to this little thing. But sometimes we remember why we were together: a big plan here; a joke told there; passionate debates about social responsibility. A damn shame.
We’re Done

That’s it.
I and SL are finished. We talked and talked in the bus stop outside College Green. Nothing resolved. It just confirmed our diagnosis of the other. She wants a family. I want to explore. We haven’t even started our grand plans. Now you’re going to be fucking someone else and so will I.
I hate you. May you go gentle into the good night.
Categories: Love or lust
  1. April 4, 2007 at 10:25 am



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