Home > Love or lust > Share my joy with you…

Share my joy with you…

Today, I received an email from an ex-girlfriend. She is Chinese and has married a Chinese man. They moved to America to work and live. She had just given birth to a baby girl and wanted to share the baby’s photo with all her friends. Strangely, the email included me – an ex-boyfriend (I think it was blind spam). She mentioned, in the email, that she was ‘sharing my joy with friends’.

I got the email this morning and it went into the trash bin immediately. On reflection, I realized that I wasn’t really bothered by it. My ego deleted the email because it was still sore at being dumped. Thus, I replied with a one-liner, "Cute kid. Good luck in raising her." Nice, bland and hopeful.

I hear screams now. "YOU INSENSITIVE bastard! Can’t you see it from their point of view!?? She spent nine months waddling like a penguin to bring the child into this world! Be happy for her! Be effusive in your congratulations!"

How to?
I really don’t care. Here’s why: it’s selfish to expect happiness from me. If neccessary, exclaim your joy to people who will fawn over you – your new child is your business and no-one else’s.
Another case: I had a friend who wanted to share the ‘joy’ of her marriage with her old classmates. She wanted us to go to her wedding. I agreed but never turned up. I imagined that she was unhappy but how was she going to share her ‘joy’ with us? Would she let us fuck her? I guess not. Also, I would have to fork out an ang bao (a red envelope with substantial amounts of money as a symbol of luck) as well. 
How would that be joyful for me? I suspect that she needed help to pay for her wedding dinner. Hopefully, she is now free of debt.
Still, it puzzles me why they insist on using that phrase: ‘share their joy with you’? Is it because they’re temporarily insane with relief from hard labours? Is it because they lack the words to express themselves (thesauri are handy tools)? Perhaps it’s because (I know compulsive joy-sharers will love this) I’ve never tasted marriage or parenthood and I do not know what I’m missing out on.
Regardless, joy need not to be shared with me as if I lack it. I ask you – does an amputee need pity for their lost limb?
Categories: Love or lust
  1. June 3, 2007 at 10:31 pm

    Well, i think maybe she just wants to share her happiness. To be a mum, its a great thing, and we celebrate it in China, surely ppl give the baby some red evelop. When someone else get married or give birth, we do join and give the money back.


  2. Kevin
    June 6, 2007 at 8:33 pm

    hey man, nice to read your blog, but you have not updated it for quite a while. Keep in touch, and keep your cool yah? haha. Nice to have met you at the bookshop. Take care man.


  3. Jason
    June 17, 2007 at 6:16 pm

    Hey, Edwin, long time no see, man. I usually share joy with people by buying them a drink. that seems to make them happy.


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